To Tickle Your Funny Bone

I realize these have nothing to do with writing, but I thought I’d share a few of the classic things my kindergarten students have done or said this year that made me smile or do a double take because, hey, everybody can use a laugh now and then, right?

1)  I was teaching my kindergarten class a new math game that involved frogs and lily pads, and the following conversation ensued:
Me: Did you find the number you were looking for on the lily pad?
Student: Ribbit.
Me: I’ll take that as a yes.
Student (genuinely surprised): How did you know what my ribbit meant?
Me: I speak fluent frog.
Student (seriously): No, you don’t.

2)  Redheaded Student: There are two other redheads in my family. My sister and my cat. And my cat is my brother.

3)  The Kindergarten Version Of Abbott And Costello:
Me: [pointing to illustration of a boy in a book] Now this is Rex-
Student 1: Teacher, who is that?
Me: That’s Rex.
Student 2: Who is he?
Me: Rex. Now, [reading] “Rex can see the–”
Student 1: [pointing] Teacher, is his name “see”?
Me: No, this is Rex.
(Sometimes our progress through a book is slow…)

4) Little girl [claps with delight, eyes shining]:  My mommy’s going to buy me a pet goldfish, and I’m gonna feed it and feed it and feed it until it dies!

Me:  Um…

5)  Student:  Teacher, I have a dog, and guess what kind it is?  A canine.

6)  Me: Now you guys tell me what sound is the same in all three of these words: gate, pat, foo–
[student raises hand]
Me: Is it an emergency?
Student: Yes. My butt crack is showing.

7)  One little girl was busy writing a 3-sentence story and already had the first two sentences done, so I asked her to read what she had to me:

Student:  Once there was a little girl.  She went for a walk in the forest.

Me:  How’s the story going to end?

Student:  It’s a mystery…