Software and Heart Palpitations

I had a major case of heart palpitations going on for the past few days.  Unfortunately it wasn’t due to l’amour (No offense to my hubby.  He knows he makes my heart go pitter patter).  No, it was because somebody apparently hacked into Microsoft and left lots of tightly-wound folks like myself without access to their email for about three days.

Ugh.  My stomach still hurts from thinking about it.

It’s amazing how attached we get to our modern conveniences, isn’t it?  But then email feels more like a necessity than a convenience nowadays.  If you don’t believe me, try pretending your email service is kaput for a few days—and don’t cheat by checking it when no one is looking.

Then imagine no one at tech support will respond to your desperate attempts to communicate with them and so you have no idea if someone is even working to resolve the problem or if there is any end to it in sight or if you’ll EVER see any of your precious archived emails again—

See?  Reaching for those antacids, aren’t you?

But my email appears to be okay now, so I’ve stopped breathing into a paper bag—which is good, because I was really starting to get lightheaded there.  I was also temporarily toying with the idea of leaving behind all these so-called modern conveniences and running away to live in a little cabin somewhere in the mountains, far away from nasty things like malware and error messages and software updates that never seem to go as smoothly as expected.  Just me, my husband, our dog, and a few chickens.  Maybe a nanny goat or two.  “I’m kind of fond of nanny goats, I am.

Ha!  100 points if you know what movie that quote comes from!  I’ll give you a hint:  it’s not a romance, it’s a baseball movie, although the leading man has caused quite a few heart palpitations in his time.  Albeit of a much more pleasant variety than the kind from which I’m still recovering.

Don’t ask what the points are redeemable for; you’ll only be disappointed.  Hey, don’t blame me—blame the economy.

Happy emailing!

Cover Art for Coming Home

Here it is!  My very first book cover.  Ta da!

Coming Home Cover

I was very anxious about the cover ever since I first realized that there was actually going to be a book out there in the world that I wrote.  I stressed over it a lot, especially since authors don’t generally have the final say when it comes to book covers.  Would the colors be okay?  What about the images themselves that were chosen?  Would it reflect the story accurately?  What if–

Then I decided to stop stressing, because I realized the most important thing about this book cover:

It has my name on it.  Eeeeeee!

🙂

Happy Valentine’s Day

I spent most of today celebrating Valentine’s Day kindergarten style:  cookies, juice, and bulk valentines galore.  We had the Green Lantern, Avengers, Disney Princesses, wacky-eyed dogs…you name it, we had it.  I even saw one kind of valentine that looked like a cross between Hannah Montana and a zombie.  If that doesn’t just scream Valentine’s Day, what does?  The kids were excited, the apple juice was flowing, and a good time was had by all.  Even by me—especially when we put on Horton Hears a Who for a blissfully peaceful 25 minutes.

Then my afternoon kiddos came in, and we did it all over again.  Wheeee!  Gotta love those back-to-back kindergarten sessions.

But the kids were really very good, and they were so pleased about everything that it was kind of sweet.  Exhausting, but sweet.

So I really can’t complain, especially since my very wonderful hubby is in the kitchen fixing dinner as I write this.  And I suspect he’s going to offer to do the dishes, too.

Yep, he’s a keeper.

I mean, roses and diamonds may be more traditional, but a man who cooks and cleans?  Now that makes me swoon.  I’m thinking I may just model my next romantic hero after him.  I can see the book cover now:  Fabio in an apron with a tossed salad in one hand and a platter of duck a l’orange in the other.  And probably a tub of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter in the foreground, since it’s Fabio.

I’d buy it.

If handsome men doing housework makes you a little weak in the knees, too, I recommend buying yourself a copy of a delightful book called Porn For Women.  No, it’s not what it sounds like, so kindly get your mind out of the gutter, please!  It’s essentially page after page of comely men doing things like vacuuming, laundry, and insisting that no woman of theirs will ever have to pick up a toilet brush or take out the trash as long as said men have breath in their bodies.  It’s definitely worth a giggle or two.

Gotta go, dinner’s ready.

And on that note, Happy Valentine’s Day!

Update On Book Release: Coming Home

I just got an email from my publisher that info about my debut novel–I just love writing that!–is available on their website now.  Cover art is not available yet, but I still get a kick out of reading the book description that’s up and seeing my name beside it.

Eeeeee!

Sorry.  Just had to get that out of my system.

If you’d like to see it for yourself, click here to visit Coming Home’s page on the Crimson Romance website.  If you’re interested in reading an excerpt, check out the link on my Fiction page here on my own website.

Eeeeeeee!

Sorry.  Last time, I promise.

For now.

Heeeeeeere It Comes!

Valentine’s Day, that is.  Every year I think I’ll do something really sweet or romantic or pyrotechnic for Valentine’s Day, but then I usually wind up settling for something like fluffy handcuffs—er, a card.  I mean a card.

(Sorry, Mom…)

Valentine’s Day is on a weekday this year.  That could be trouble.  Who has the energy to stir up a little romance after spending all day wrangling—I mean, educating—small children?  And supervising not one, but two classroom parties?  There’ll be cookie crumbs flying through the air, valentines underfoot everywhere I turn, and kids bouncing off the walls even before the sugar highs hit.  You know what’s romantic after that?  A foot rub, followed by a second foot rub.  And maybe one more.

But it’s Valentine’s Day.  Even if you decide to postpone festivities until the weekend because restaurants will be less crowded, you’ll have more energy, and all that practical stuff…you still want to do a little something on the actual day, don’t you?  It doesn’t have to be fancy.  At least, not if you’re me, it doesn’t.  That’s why I’m planning on giving my hubby a “Mr. Right” t-shirt and curling up on the sofa with him, a bowl of popcorn, and a re-run of Whose Line Is It Anyway because, to us, laughing so hard that a popcorn kernel flies out of your nose IS romantic.  We’re just kind of weird that way.

Either that or we’ll get matching tattoos.

Screenwriting Update

 

I just found out that my screenplay The Bloodline has made it from the semifinals to the finals in the 2012 Screenplay Festival competition (http://screenplayfestival.com).  Yippee!  Of course, that doesn’t exactly clinch a movie deal or anything…but still:

Yippee!

 

11 Funny Quotes About Love & Marriage

Here are a few humorous quotes I found about love and marriage that I wanted to share because they made me smile.  Why 11?  Well…why not 11?  (Okay, I actually was aiming for 10 but as it turns out, I couldn’t narrow them down because I’m incredibly indecisive–or am I?  Oh, I don’t know…)

1)  No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. Unknown

2)  If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? – Unknown

3)  To love is to suffer.  To avoid suffering, one must not love.  But, then one suffers from not loving.  Therefore, to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer, to suffer is to suffer.  To be happy is to love, to be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy, therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness–I hope you’re getting this down.  – Woody Allen

4)  I want a man who’s kind and understanding.  Is that too much to ask of a millionaire? – Zsa Zsa Gabor

5)  The four most important words in any marriage… “I’ll do the dishes.”  – Anonymous

6)  You know it’s love when you want to keep holding hands even after you’re sweaty.  –  Anonymous

7)  An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.  – Agatha Christie

8)  Money can’t buy love, but it improves your bargaining position. – Christopher Marlowe

9)  I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox. – Woody Allen

10)  Love – a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker. – Unknown

11)  I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. – Rita Rudner

Hope you enjoyed them!  If you know of any other little gems you’d like to share, please post them!